Every marriage has twists and turns. That is because marriage consists of two people who are not perfect. Because no one is perfect, there will be things that steer your relationship off course—whether that is resentment, infidelity or arguments. The Bible says that we will never master the perfect marriage outside of heaven. So, what you can do is strive to build a stronger foundation for your marriage—one that will help you overcome challenges in your relationship.
Have Realistic Expectations
Many people have unrealistic expectations of marriages. Your spouse is a human being with limitations and strengths. They might annoy you at times. Although most people realize that no one is perfect, many couples have unrealistic expectations for their spouse. They believe that their spouse should not forget anything, especially if it is something that is very important to them.
However, the fact is that no one person can be expected to please you all of the time. There is no such thing as perfect happiness when it comes to marriage. The key is to focus on what God designed marriage to provide?—spiritual intimacy, devotion, and partnership. So, learn to forgive and accept your partner’s imperfections just as God accepts yours.
Communicate With Kindness
One of the most important factors when it comes to marriage is how you speak to your spouse day-to-day. Many couples don’t think about the way that they speak to each. They often say things to one another that is hurtful.
The next time that you hear a couple argue pay attention to what they say and how they say it. Are they speaking in a tone of voice or using hurtful words that you doubt they would say to a stranger?
Many couples justify their negative communication by saying that they are just honest with their spouse. While honesty is important, it is also true that you also need to speak carefully and say what you need to say without hurting the other’s feelings. The happiest couples say that speaking with kindness is a way of life for them.
Focus on communicating with your spouse with kindness every single day. Whether you are trying to hurry your slow-moving spouse out the door or talking about a serious issue, think about how you can say what you need to say with respect and kindness.
Accept Your Spouse for Who They Are
Whether you are a wife or a husband, the Bible says that it is important to appreciate and respect your imperfect spouse. Therefore, love your spouse for who they are without trying to change them. Unconditional love is important when it comes to a healthy marriage. Unconditional love refers to accepting both the good and bad sides of your spouse—this includes their weaknesses and failures.
Instead of focusing on the things about your spouse that you don’t like about your husband or wife, try to think about the positive things about them. Pay attention to the good in your spouse.
Be Friends With Your Spouse
Before you were married, you and your spouse might have been friends first. Many relationships develop out of friendships. Being friends with your spouse will help your relationship. Research from Canada’s National Bureau of Economic Research found that married couples that considered their spouse a “best friend” had high levels of satisfaction and happiness in their marriage. In fact, they were twice as satisfied in their marriage than couples that do not consider their spouse a best friend.
Make it a high priority to cultivate a friendship with your spouse. How can you nurture a friendship with your husband or wife? Think about what qualities make up any friendship and try to apply those same ones in your marriage. Foster empathy, honesty, kindness, trust and loyalty in your relationship. Here are some ideas to help you cultivate a friendship with your spouse:
- Take part in a Christian marriage retreat or conference
- Pray together daily
- Talk with each other freely
- Support one another
Keeping your marriage strong takes a lot of hard work. It isn’t always easy. But, if you devote the effort and time, you will build a strong foundation that will get you through both the good and bad times.
~ Christian Patriot Daily
