No, Jesus Was Not a Doper

The Drudge Report trumpeted a headline from British newspapers this week which read, “Bible Bombshell: Jesus Used Cannabis Oil to Perform ‘Miracles’.” The Daily Star reliably informs us that a “growing consensus” of “experts” now agrees with the theory that Jesus performed miracles by actually operating the first mobile marijuana clinic in Judea. Before we refute every single thing about this ridiculous theory, we want to take a moment to address Christians who are newer to the faith.

Every few months, these same cranks come out of the woodwork and claim that the past 2,000 years of Christian scholarship has been totally wrong and only they – the new, enlightened flavor-of-the-month, media approved “scholars” – have gotten it right.

These cranks are preaching “another gospel,” which Paul warns against in Galatians 1:7-8, “There are some who trouble you and want to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed.” These pot-smoking “scholars” should not be taken seriously. Here’s why.

First, the premise of David Bienenstock’s theory is utterly unsound. Bienenstock is a self-described “cannabis historian” – because apparently that is a profession now. He claims that he alone has discovered that the anointing oil used in Exodus 30:22-25 was mistranslated by Christian and Hebrew scholars for the past 2,000 years.

The Keneh Bosem described in Scripture, according to Bienenstock, was not actually “cinnamon bark” as scholars have translated it for millennia. Keneh Bosem… Canna- Bis… get it? Augustine of Hippo, Thomas Aquinas, every Hebrew scholar in history and every Christian scholar since the Protestant Reformation somehow missed that!

It goes downhill from there. Bienenstock and the Christophobic, God-hating media go on to claim that Jesus’ miracles were not actually miracles.

Instead, Jesus was dispensing pot and it turned out to be a miracle cure-all that solved blindness, leprosy and demonic possession. This is another major “tell” that Beinenstock’s theory is akin to bovine manure.

If Jesus didn’t truly perform miracles but was instead pulling some sort of sleight-of-hand that tricked the hillbilly rubes of ancient Israel into thinking that He had magical powers, then Jesus was not truly divine. If He was not the Son of God as He claimed, all of Christianity would be a pointless endeavor based on a fraud.

This desperate wish to discredit the Bible is why “scholars” like Bienenstock always receive mass media attention anytime they come up with a new theory as to why the Bible is all wrong.

Bienenstock points to Jesus healing a blind man as “evidence” of his claim that Jesus was a pot dispenser (and not really God). He claims that Jesus rubbed his cannabis oil (you know, the cannabis oil from Exodus 30) on the man’s eyes and cured his blindness.

This proves that Beinenstock is completely dishonest and has vulgar intentions. Cannabis oil does not cure blindness. Even when marijuana is smoked, it only alleviates ocular blood pressure in patients who suffer from glaucoma. Not even the most optimistic medical marijuana peddlers claim that smearing cannabis oil on a person’s eyes will cure blindness.

Bienenstock then claims that Mark 6:13 is an account of curing epileptic patients with miraculous cannabis oil, rather than casting out demons. The problem with this theory is that no one has ever mistaken epileptic seizures for demonic possession. Jesus certainly didn’t. He addressed the demons in conversation even as he cast them out of people.

As for the other miracles that Jesus performed, Bienenstock is curiously silent. He makes no mention of how Jesus might have used pot to turn water into wine at a wedding ceremony (His first recorded miracle). Nor does he mention how cannabis oil allowed Jesus to walk on water. Perhaps Peter had been smoking pot on the boat and it was all a hallucination?

The truth of the matter is that Bienenstock has an axe to grind and therefore, he is twisting Scripture to further his own ambitions. He wants medical marijuana legalized and he is willing lie to accomplish that goal. This is the danger that is present when any person tries to find an excuse for their own sinful failings in the Bible. We’ve all been there, done that.

We should pray not only that Bienenstock will continue reading the Bible, but that the Jesus of the Bible who was most certainly not a dope-slinger will change Mr. Bienenstock’s heart. Meanwhile, Christians should be mindful not to fall prey to the next “scholar” who will arrive with great media fanfare, probably in August or September, to claim that we’ve been doing Christianity all wrong.

~ Christian Patriot Daily


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