Displaying the sparkling sort of intellect that makes us love atheists so much, an elementary school principal in Nebraska sent out a memo to all the teachers informing them of this year’s banned Christmas decorations. The most hilarious item banned was the innocuous candy cane, because the principal believes that its ‘J’ shape stands for ‘Jesus.’
Principal Jennifer Sinclair has been placed on mandatory leave — not because of her insane, white-hot seething hatred of the founding religion of America (that’s perfectly fine in the public schools). We’re guessing that she’s been sent to take remedial courses on how to use Google for five seconds so that you don’t cause your school to become a national embarrassment.
In her memo to all of the teachers, Sinclair unilaterally banned Christmas trees, Santa Claus and reindeer from all classroom “holiday decorations.” Sleds, scarves and the cartoon snowman from the movie “Frozen” are acceptable. But just to be on the safe side, Sinclair also banned the colors red and green, making December a bewildering time in the classroom for any children who have color-blindness.
But for the coup de grace, Sinclair banned candy cane decorations in all of her school’s classrooms, offering these genius observations:
“Historically, the shape is a ‘J’ for Jesus. The red is for the blood of Christ, and the white is a symbol of his resurrection.”
This is wildly inaccurate and possibly insane. Even Google and Wikipedia — which are not exactly friendly to Christianity — acknowledge that the shape of the candy represents a CANE and therefore, sort of reminds everyone of a shepherd’s crook.
While there is a historically inaccurate legend that talks about the colors, Sinclair even gets this wrong. In what sounds like Roman Catholic propaganda, the legend describes the white of the candy cane as representing the virgin birth and the sinless nature of Mary; while the hard surface of the candy represents the solid rock on which the church is founded.
Most of the stories from the 17th century, however, describe sugar cane sticks as having been invented in order to keep small children busy and quiet during a lengthy service. Which of those descriptions sounds the most likely to you?
But, nope. To Principal Jennifer Sinclair, it’s a ‘J’ for ‘Jesus.’
This is what happens to ignorant faux-cosmopolitan liberals when they try to lecture us about the world. The hint as to what the candy cane represents is right there in its name. We don’t call them “candy Js,” we call them “candy canes.” Under Principal Sinclair’s wizened logic, however, the following candies would have to be present in the rest of the world:
- Armenia: Candy H’s to represent Hisus
- Bosnia: Candy I’s to represent Isus
- Spain: Candy X’s to represent the Galician-language ‘Xesucristo’
- India: Candy Y’s to represent Y??u
- Italy: Candy G’s to represent Gesù
- Botswana: Candy u’s to represent uJesu in the Zulu language
And so on. But they’re not. Everywhere that you can find a candy cane, it’s shaped pretty much like a shepherd’s crook. At least a hundred world languages don’t even have a letter to represent ‘J.’ Only a liberal who is under the assumption that everyone else in the world must speak English would think that the ‘J’ shape of the candy cane represents Jesus.
If Principal Jennifer Sinclair had simply said, “I’m banning anything with a vaguely Christian reference to it because I hate Christianity, Christians and Jesus,” there probably would have been less of a stink raised about this story. That would have been nothing new from an elementary school principal, other than the fact that they usually only express these sentiments on internal message boards. But Ms. Sinclair had to show off her incredible lack of research skills to the whole world!
The mental gymnastics that public school administrators and teachers will go through to stamp out Christianity is truly amazing. They pretend that they don’t want to offend “any” students by erasing all traces of America’s founding religion, while at the same time bowing and scraping to any Sharia law tenet that comes their way. “We don’t want to promote any one religion over any other, so no Christmas decorations are allowed — especially in the Muslim prayer room next to the nurse’s office!”
After suspending Sinclair for her spectacular blunder, the school district clarified that its Christmas decoration policy is actually much more lenient than the rules that Sinclair made up off the top of her head. Whenever the Pharisees tried to lay a rhetorical trap for Jesus as we read in the Scriptures, they were actually pretty clever. We’ve got it really easy these days. The enemies of Christ don’t even know how to use Google.
